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Writer's pictureYvonne Evans

LOST WOMEN, FINDING YOURSELF & OWNING YOUR PERSONAL NARRATIVE

Updated: Oct 10, 2022








Recently I was listening to a youtube video on fashion and furniture designer Rick Owens. I often put clips of him and his artist partner Michele Lamy on first thing in the morning to set the "soundtrack" of my day for creativity. They are both personal muses for me reflecting such a closely aligned philosophical lens with my own. As I was listening to him speak about "controlling his own personal narrative" through his expression and through his work I was struck with the sudden realization that "narratives" have been such a strong influencing theme in my life and growth. When I consider more deeply the broader context of being in a woman's body and how that historically (or her-storically) women have had others project, impose and decide story and value upon them since FOREVER, this is not a new realization but I had never thought of it through the lens of the outside world "controlling the narrative" of your personal self.


So many women I have worked with in classes and sessions are lost to themselves. Adopting the messages and norms of other friends or those in the collective zeitgeist to shape and conform to. The true Self (capital S) remains unknown if another road is not travelled. This is a theme long been with women. Finding the truth of who they are within their own soul. It's a journey and it's filled with pot holes and traps and often crippling self doubt. Many choose not to do it, whether consciously or subconsciously remaining in the same patterns of their life. Moving to a state of consciousness where there is a found sense of who you are and an ultimate Permission to BE is a long and winding road through treacherous terrain for many but I argue the most worthy road to travel.


Along this road of Becoming and It's transformation there is the inevitable confrontation with these outer messages and the zeitgeist. These "outside projections and agendas" of others who insist upon defining you a particular way challenge your foundations. If you are not standing on a strong foundation of your own truth it can all come crumbling down. The good news is that all that you are NOT can be left behind. From there the rebuild must be done with only that which matters to you. The task is of course to build the stronger framework of Self so that no matter what the outer projections from others you remain strong in the true knowledge of who you are. This part of the terrain is familiar and spoken about over the past decades within women's movements and feminine consciousness for all gender spectrums.


Once there is enough rebuilding and the Self is reclaimed there are other challenges however that come from the expression of that Self as you remain living with one foot in the outer world. Artists and creatives know this more clearly because whatever the mode of art the goal is to be true to Self. Can you remain true to your Self and continuously offer that integrity of Being into the world?


In my last decade of working more within my own artistic expression I can see much more clearly now how I have been navigating the worlds messages to me on a daily basis. In the past I have lost a lot of time not fully being in the Permission to Be state of being that so many women wrestle with. This is because it has layers of complexity within it. Eventually though, if you stay with it, tossing out what is not and keeping what is or adding what is to be, this leads to a wonderful state of liberation because of course it was never about the outside. It was about your own self valuing, honouring and sovereignty. Everything whether it be art or indeed in the living of your life becomes more and more a true reflection of who you are; soulful living.


When we as women consider the notion of "controlling the narrative" though it takes us into a further piece about how we choose to communicate about ourselves to others near and in the wider world and how we allow ourselves to be communicated about and how our story is told. There are a lot of "influencer" notions and a huge social media impact that seeks to sway us towards their own particular point of view. I see a lot of younger women seeking to find them selves through these portals. And well may they as I do not presume to know their journey. As women in the broader movement of consciousness however we could choose to join those who are boldly seeking out their own voices, their own art, their own politics, their own gifts, their own needs, their own right to BE. Seeking an authentic life that is aligned with the core of their Being.


As a woman you could do the deeper work of finding out WHO YOU ARE ACCORDING TO YOU?

You could then create the space, the safety, the joy and thriving in the shape of your own personal universe. By owning your own personal journey and narrative this is indeed a cause for celebration because it is a woman's own coronation. She becomes Queen of her own world; Sovereign........... and She will tell you who she is.




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